Play Nicely

It has always been my natural tendency to trust anyone and everyone implicitly, sometimes even after that decision was proven to be foolish. I seek nothing more than to spend my life enjoying time spent with people and not concerning myself with ulterior motives or hidden agendas. Sadly, an abundance of peculiar events this year have tarnished my view of this approach somewhat. See the thing is, I've learnt recently that people really don't care who they hurt or how at times. Of course this is a generic statement, but I currently seem to be swamped by dishonesty and injustice and I can neither understand why, nor how to protect myself from the harm it causes. It's fair to say that I'm no saint; I've made mistakes like everyone else and I certainly don't think I'm better than anyone: yet the one thing I will say about myself is that I'm honest. If I make a mistake, I own up to it...if I hurt someone accidentally, I apologise. My absolute last purpose in life is to hurt anyone, I simply can't bear the thought of being the cause of anyone else's pain. But I'm suffering inside, because I can't stand how powerless and helpless I am in the grand scheme of things; people do get hurt and they do cause hurt, and I find that tremendously difficult to cope with. So I just want to say this... STOP STOP AND THINK, is it worth it? Do you need to do what you're about to do? When you had that affair that broke your husband's heart, did you even pause to consider that there would be a catalogue of hurt that fanned out through the whole network of friends, children and family? that every memory you made with loved ones would be the last of its kind because you put a stranger before them. When you used that woman who you described as sub standard, just because you had nobody else, did you even think for one minute about how awful you would feel if the shoe were on the other foot? When you took the words of a private conversation you overheard and 'repeated' the enhanced version to official ears in a bid to cause trouble, did you give the slightest bit of a hoot? Did you relish the conflict you initiated through untruths? Did you sleep well that night in spite of the anguish you caused? When you raised your hand, your fist....when you used your mouth to inflict the most serious of pain, did you get a kick out of it that outweighed any feelings of remorse? Did you enjoy seeing the fear in the eyes of someone else? When you passed on that fictional story about someone because you didn't want them to be happy, did you even contemplate that the person in question might need support from others and not criticism? Did you continue blissfully while someone else's anxiety overwhelmed them off the back of your actions? When you used your drunken agression to try to exert control over someone who dared to contest your opinion, did you really need to go to such a length to have your say? Is it worth jeopardising a friendship because you can't accept the views of another? When you cheated so frequently on your partner that he had to just accept it and became just a whisper of his magnificent self, did it make you feel good inside? Are you proud that you've got all that you wanted at no cost to yourself, while you have tarnished his trust of others and given him a cynicism he probably once never felt? Why did you get in bed with that woman while the one you were supposed to love stood crying in the rain? Why did you lie about being home safe when you were out spinning your web of adultery? Why did you say that someone was fat? Ugly? Why? Just, why? I urge you all to put love before everything else. It's not some soap box ideology, it's a perfectly achievable goal. I argued with my friend the other week, nothing major, and he said to me 'well I assume that's it for our friendship' and it just blew me away. It didn't even enter my head to terminate any friendship off the back of an argument. As I explained to him, that's why we are friends, because we can be ourselves, the love doesn't end where the disagreement starts. I've lost so many precious people in my life and, as a result, I hold dear those around me. Our time here is short; why spend it bathing in malice and deceit; doesn't it feel so beautiful to see a smile on the face of someone you care about? Doesn't your heart absolutely wrench in pain if a friend tells you they are hurting? Well mine does. Put down the knives, take off the blinkers and open your arms to seal them tightly around the nearest person who holds even the smallest thread of importance to you. Society silently tells us to be polite and reserved and to nurse and restrict our outpourings of love for our children or partners. I've never really been a special someone or a priority to one person, Therefore I don't believe we should stifle how we feel. Hug the postman, tell the doctor you love what she's wearing, be the person that admits that your heart swells when it's the happy bus driver who takes you to work. Love people, love and nurture them like you want to be nurtured yourself. When the sun goes down at the end of the day and I'm on my own, I find solace in knowing that I care about people so much. It doesn't matter if people care about me, it matters that I'm letting myself admit that I need them and don't want to hurt them. You see at one point in my life I was so abused that I didn't even have anyone around me to hurt if I'd been that way inclined. dont let that vicious circle sink it's teeth in, reach out and hold someone's hand, it feels much better! Stop hurting each other!